No One's Really There

No one's really there.. when you get to school and you see people laughing and smiling.. just not with you.

No one's really there when you really need someone by your side..

No one's really there when you needed help.. they only turned and walked off..

No one's really there because you know they don't really like you.

No one's really there.. because.. the never were.




lolss no idea what im writing.. but im starting to get the feeling that I can't trust anyone or have a true friend in school. I wish Samantha were here D:

I have always considered Lanna being my best friend in school

but today she kept hurting me and wouldnt stop and now my body hurts D:






so tired=-=


so much homework

to the bed mobile!

*zzzz*

28102008 ~ <3

Okay..

so today..

we got let out early because it was tuesday and we leave at 2pm from school on Tuesdays..

and Edwina, Kim and I went to Victoria Gardens..

and we bought coffee from Gloria Jeans..

and DAMN was it good or what DX

look how yummy it looks D:
with whipped cream and caramel of course and a bit of spinkles x)

I really want to try starbucks one day D:

Haha

my "friends" say im seriously COFFEE addicted..

I dont really agree but yeah :]


and thats pretty much all for now :3


byeeee <3

Kim's House x)

YAY! I finally got to go to Kim's house =DD

We were nerds doing our homework, played EYETOY 3, I got sick and listened to music. It was really fun and I hope we can do it again some day =D

hmm.. Only bad thing was that it was SOOOO hot D:


like.. 31degrees Celsius.. that being.. 87 Fahrenheit I thnk xDD



it was boiling hot and I had to tram home D:


luckily the tram was air conditioned. So anyway.. Im eating turkish bread and Im really excited for NEXT Tuesday because Im going to meet Samantha in the CITY

HOORAHH!!


I few other people are going to..


so five people are going..


Me
Samantha
Christina (Samantha's Sister)
Johnny (Samantha's Friend, we're enemies D:)
Danny (Johnny's Brother)



so yeah..

that's all for now..

My blog's starting to go boring D:

oh wells xDD



ta ta ~ <3

Such a Good Day

What a good (and tiring) day its been..


I swear..

I have been doing so much work that ive wasted 10 hours of my life on it. and theres still more D:



Stupid homework and school

I blame everything ON SCHOOL

ITS ALL SCHOOLS FAULT D:<





the good thing is that I've been talking to someone special for the whole time..


sorta xDD

like about 3-5 hours somewhere

I LOVE HIM

I LOVE YOU MAYOOKH =D


<333333




so anyway..



yeahh


cbb anymore..

it was just on my to do list so..


*ticks*


done =DD







cheers <3

till next time :)

Life & A Best Friend

Okay, I sort of got upset at school again (Gee im such a wuss xDDD)

Well, not that anyone would know.


o-o

OMGOMGOMG sorryy just realized I have to call Lanna about something that has to do with this =-=;;


Okay so anyway.. The thing was..

Edwina was giving me looks again. In the end she pulled Lanna away and I bet she talked to Lanna about me behind my back. Gosh.. If she has something to say.. SAY IT TO MY FACE. *sigh* =-=;;

I would reckon Lanna and Kim being my bestest friends in HIGH SCHOOL so far..

I really miss Samantha. I wish she was here.. My dearest friend in the whole world. We've known each other since 5 years old. Unfortunately, our communication has been lacking. This is only because I moved away from her last year in May. We last saw each other on the 9th of May 2007. I moved because of my dad. We're planning to meet again on the first 1th of November. I'm really excited. SO about my dad.


~ Flashback ~

Springvale West Primary School was a school where parents could bring fresh, hot lunches in for their children. My mum was at home doing so while I was at school waiting. My mum called her friend over (male) and told him to bring some ingredients for her to make my lunch. My dad had recently been kicked out of the house by my mum because they had been separated for.. say.. a long time now, but my dad always comes back to see me and once he's in the house. You can't really get him out.

Well, that one day (while my mum's friend was still in the house), he broke into the house to find my mum's friend and thought (thinks they're still together) she was cheating on him and chased him out of the house and started hitting my mum and bashing my mum. This would've been Woman Abuse so my mum called the police and was taken to then police station. So right after I got let out of school, I was taken to the police station and after that we stayed at a motel for a bit, we then moved into a house where other women lived as well (same thing happening to them).

We stayed there for a week. While we were there we came with the police to our old house and got all our belongings and moved (yet again). Also while we stayed at the Womans Housing, I called Samantha every single day from the pay phone in the house (weird i know). Hearing her voice was always a lot to take knowing that I'd be far away from my bestest friend ever. When we were staying at the motel I called her and told her I'd be moving and both of us were crying over the phone and my mum even promised me she drive me to Samantha's every weekend. Guess it was a lie.

After the Womans Housing we moved to a temporary house and I soon attended Richmond Primary School and made some good friends.. sorta =D

and yeahh..


~ END ~


So there's some background information I guess ^^

I can't wait to see her.

I'm starting to really dislike Edwina

(i swear it's as if I use this blog thing as a complaining center)

Lanna and Kim both have my trust.. If I can't trust them..

I can't trust anyone.. at school xD



(aww im so emotional, im starting to cry now..)

im such a loner/loser whatever. I mostly make friends on the INTERNET (great..) At least I can be myself here. I'm a very shy person in reality and have a low self esteem (probably due to bullying) I find it very hard to make friends.. So I have friends.. but not much.. Other may sometimes think of me as wierd and ugly (because of my birthmark on my face (could keep others away from me or make fun of me))

Life is a Bumpy Road..

try making it Flat and Perfect..

it's not easy.



Cheers <3

Friends or FOE ?

I almost cried in school.

It would seem as if my friends don't care a bit about me either. They 'act' like they're my bestest friends ever, but they ALWAYS make fun of me. They ditched me at lunch time too. I don't quite remember because of poor memory but I can tell Edwina wanted to make me jealous at PE while we were changing. "Oh I saw that shop open yesterday" and I saw her smirk at me or something and I haven't been to the ANIME shop in ages so yeah..

i don't know..


Just About my So called "Friends"


..:: Kim ::..
Probably one of those I can sort of trust.. Or maybe not. She's cute and can be really funny at times, But sometimes she can be really annoying like today she kept knocking my hat off while I was talking so i got pissed off and knocked her hat off just when Ms Lattin passed by and she yelled at me and Lanna and Kim just stood there laughing at me. How embarrassing =-=

At least she said sorry.



..:: Lanna ::..
She is a short girl who can sometimes be very nice when she's in that good and forgiving mood. But sometimes she can be really selfish and greedy. Also.. I don't really like it when shes mad. She's mostly mad over something thats nothing/little but if the thing was important she be raging and taking her anger out on other people.. Preferably Indigo.



..:: Edwina ::..
Edwina is probably the bitch of our group. She thinks wrong (not like i dont xD), loves all these male celebrities and "hot" guys on the streets. She swears alot. She makes fun of others alot as well and doesn't really care about what others think. AT ALL.



..:: Cheng-Yee ::..
I sometimes think she can be friendly as well. Edwina always talks behind her back. She can also be .. yeah.. :D






im really tired and should start doing my homework now..


good night ^^

Love from a mother & Yummy Crossaints

Okay.. so i got back from school a WHILE ago.. I think.. uhmm let's see.. exactly 2 hours from now? i don't know but yeah.. I've been sooo hungry. I'm not that kind of person to attend breakfast as a daily routine (mostly because I wake up late (ugh)), I didn't have lunch either because I really want to save up money! My mum (mom) gives me 50 dollars a week for spending money on ANYTHING and so I'm planning on saving up by starving and not eating anything at school so I won't waste my money. UNfortunately I ask others for food xD (I'm such a pig) so anyway.. yeahh sometimes they give me some and sometimes they don't but eh. My tummy just growls all the way from Period 1 to Period 4 (only four classes a day ;D) and yeah..

So there are these yummy chocolate crossaints there so I just decided to eat one and I microwaved it and it is (i swear) SO YUMMY!!! the crispy outside with its thin layer of sugar icing and the creamy, delicious chocolate on the inside. It's almost like I'm slowly flying up to heaven. What a dream ! xD



Other than that my mum has been bothering me lately, She's been gambling and I don't really like it. I don't even think my mum has a single drop of love for me. I mean really, has your mum ever gone to you out of no where and said "I love you so much!" Mine didn't. She walks around the house screaming about my school effort and that she wastes money on me. Like she doesnt know english right? She tells me to translate some stuff for her and just because I go to school and I know english does not me I know the whole Dictionary. If I don't know the word or cant explain it she'd start yelling saying "What the hell do I even put you in school huh? I bet you sit and class and talk talk talk! Why are you so stupid?!" and all that =-=;; so its really bothersome sometimes.





I really thinks she doesnt care.

Why the tears ?

Okay so after I posted the blog update below v

I was browsing around myspace and just started missing my brother Andrew again. He deleted me off his myspace so I got to his myspace through Mayookh's myspace. and I was looking at his pictures and I came across the picture that i DREW for him. He posted it up saying he would cherish it forever. Tears quickly stung my eyes and slowly ran down my cheeks. It brought back memories of the good times we had together. Two months away from my dear brother felt like 2 years. I cried for like 3 hours this morning. Just because of that ><;

stupid me hehe

Just wanted to post this to tell people THATS why I was crying =-=;;

gosh so anyway..

Me and Andrew and good Brothers and Sisters again s everything is all good ^^

Hiip Hip Hoorayy!


<3

Bothered .

So it was my birthday yesterday =)

I'm finally 13. Woo Hoo!!

I'm tired and really bored and its 10:05PM

Yesterday on my birthday, me and some friends went to the city and we took photos at photoplus and I bought myself a bunny plushie its soooo cute :3


So anyway.. other than that. Something has really been bothering me v.v;; Remember my brother Andrew I said I missed? I still miss him.. He wasn't even there for my birthday. I wish he was still here. I know he's only ignoring me for his stupid greater good. Selfishness. His greater good is only so he himself doesn't get hurt. He cut me deep when he said all those things just for this greater good. In the end when other people start to get closer to him he argues back telling them not to because he thinks he knows that the people will leave him again when its actually the other way around. Him avoiding us.

I find it really stupid.

I'm really tired and my 'mother' is yelling at me to go to bed. So.. Good night ^^

Forgetting [&&] Good ?

Hello again!


Thing about this blog is I really want to get my thoughts out.

So anyway, Today was a good day at school. Our group in Physical World (Humanities) is making a lot of progress on our advert for ANTI-SMOKING! HaHaHaaa..
We made our story board today (Will post it soon!) We might be able to start filming tomorrow. I feel really good we're one step closer to finishing :)

Other than that..


I'm starting to realize that I'm starting to get over the fact that I lost someone very dear to me, Andrew. I don't mean that I'm starting to forget him or anything. What I'm saying is that I don't take it as hard as I used to. I used to almost cry about it every time I heard his name. NO he was not my boyfriend. Andrew was like a brother I never had. He was always nice to me and he was very funny. He would have to be the bestest brother that ever existed. I envy his family to have someone like him a part of their ACTUAL family. On the other hand.. I'm an only child and I mostly see my friends as my own siblings (How Lame) xD.

I think that's all I really wanted to say for now.

I'm currently composing a Task List I need to complete before the end of the week.

I know.. SUPER BORING






thats all for now then

Bye bye <3

Introduction ?

Hello Everyone !

How are you all ? This would be my first blog.

I know it might crappy and all, but it's my diary. I know a diary should be personal and kept to ones self. I just wanted my diary for myself and for others to read. It could be a way for people to understand ones true feelings inside.

Oh right ! Almost forgot.

About myself;

actually..

I won't be using my real information. If any of my friends were to pass by this. They might start worrying and yeah..

I find it really Annoying. But at least I know they care. :)

AND I know ONE person who would know who I am just by reading that line.

I will tell my information eventually. Just not now :\



and.. I think that's all you should know for now.



Continuing about what my blog would be about.. Hmm.. I always thought that keeping my feelings to myself would be a bad thing. Sometimes if I'm really upset, people would keep worrying about me and asking "What's wrong ?" I never actually told anyone at all in the end.

So I thought it'd be time I shared a bit of myself through a diary on the internet ? Sure, some of you people out there wouldn't even try to care. But I thought it'd be nice if I were to let at least 1 person know about myself other than one of my friends, Becca.

So, this Diary would sort of be secret, because no one else really knows about it at this time. Also Public because its on the highly popular internet (that's worldwide). Probably out of all the people in the world. at least 2 would have read this. I don't know really. I find myself to always write in novel format.

Meaning, I write DAILY life in Story format. Which I'm starting to find weird. It's 11:02PM.

I guess I should be heading to bed since I have school tomorrow.



Goodnight ^^-